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WHAT is Peter Mandelson doing lecturing your parents on how to cope with having an unemployed graduate back living at home?

He is the Business Secretary.

He is NOT a parenting coach, agony aunt or careers adviser.

In the latest crushing disappointment for Dude? – and Dude’s Army of readers – our Business Secretary has proved yet again that he has no idea what you lot are going through – or what he can do to help.

In its latest kneejerk response to the graduate unemployment crisis, the Department of Business Innovation and Skills has just unveiled…

Wait for it…

A guide to help your parents with the stress of you being unemployed.

Forget the ‘nanny state’ – it seems our government has decided that Mary Poppins is so noughties.

Now – as we enter the ‘teenies’ - the politicians are suddenly all about the tough love, suggesting that parents who do their child’s laundry while they seek work could be damaging their offspring’s chances of success on the job market.

(Er, WHAT?!)

But you know what really kills me?

That every minute – and pound – that was spent putting together the new Parent Motivators Guide was NOT spent on thinking up ways to incentivise businesses to create more job opportunities for you, the graduates who working hard to find employment.

Okay, so being the parent of an unemployed graduate isn’t much fun.

But it’s even less fun for you – and it’s you who are going to have to build a plan to get yourselves into employment.

Which is why it’s so screamingly obvious that Mandy’s resources should be focussed on helping you to find work.

NOT on your helping your parents to deal with you being out of work.

In fairness, some of the guide’s advice isn’t bad. (If you ignore its unhelpful – and false - underlying assumption that finding you a job is in some way your parents’ responsibility. It’s not - it’s yours and yours alone.)

More of my thoughts on the guide to come in a later post…

But for now the big question is surely -

WHAT is the government THINKING?

Is someone giving Mandy some really bad advice at the moment?

Or does he just Not Get It At All?

First up, we had the much-slated Graduate Talent Pool (“Wow, a load of unpaid internships – that’ll help pay off my £15k of debt…”).

Next came a muddled proposal of university reforms (complete with gaping hole where Mandy’s attack on the dire state of university careers advice services should have been).

In fact, over the last six months, Mandy and his Department of Business, Innovation and Skills’ response to the graduate unemployment crisis has been neither businesslike, innovative nor skilled.

Frankly, it’s been a complete shambles.

All they’ve done is perfect the art of spewing out one costly, kneejerk and pretty much useless initiative after another.

Of which this Parent Motivators Guide is just the latest.

WHEN are we going to see this government produce a cohesive action plan to tackle this graduate unemployment crisis properly? A plan that treats the causes of this problem, not its symptoms?

We wait in hope.

In the meantime, there is some good news.

At least Mandy’s Conservative opponent David (‘Two Brains’) Willetts is showing encouraging signs of grasping this really-not-rocket-science issue.

Is this because our man Willetts has his own personal fears about the current system that so spectacularly fails to help young people move from university into the world of work?

(Of his two grown-up kids, Dude hears one has just started uni while the other is doing a media postgrad).

Is it possible that he realises how scandalously badly you lot are currently being served?

Or is it just that  Willetts ‘gets’ this issue in a way Mandy clearly doesn’t?

Whatever, his response to the Parent Motivators Guide was on the money:

“Young people are driven back home after university out of financial necessity,” Willetts explained to his slow-on-the-uptake Labour rival. “They are finding it hard to get jobs in this recession.”

(Would Mandy like him to write that last bit down, perhaps? Dude would be only too happy to make it into a poster to Blu-Tack to his office wall).

“Peter Mandelson would be much better [off] focussing on improving the performance of the economy than setting himself up as the nation’s agony aunt.”

Too right.

Graduates don’t need tough love from their parents.

They need support from their government.

– Read more about the Parent Motivators Guide here

Did you come back to live with your folks after graduating?

You’re not alone. The number of ‘boomerang children’ – who go off to uni and then return when they graduate – is on the rise in the UK, say experts.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out why. Rising student debt and a shortage of graduate jobs mean fewer graduates can afford to move out of home right now.

This phenomenon may be on the rise – but Dude knows this is actually nothing new. I lived at home with my folks for nearly two years after I graduated from Durham, waaay back in 2000.

Was I living the dream? No. Where was the swanky central London penthouse flat I’d imagined? Nowhere. What about the wild parties I’d be throwing all the time? They never happened. Instead, I was sleeping in same the little single bed I’d had when I was at school.

But you know what? It wasn’t so bad. My parents were supportive, there was always food in the fridge and the cushions on the sofa were always plumped.

When I finally did move out, it was to an absolute armpit of a flat in South London. It had damp, a mouse (!) and our landlord was a cheap-arse who refused to fix the heating when it broke in December (brrr).

And even now, nine years on, when I’m renting (a much nicer place) with friends, I still have my moments of wishing I was back at home with the folks.

Particularly on the nights when I come home late, remember there’s nothing in the fridge, the bin needs taking out and it’s freeeezing cold (because our landlord won’t put in new windows).

So if you’re languishing at home wailing: “CURSE the recession – this isn’t how it’s supposed to be!!!” take heart.

Very few graduates have ever swanned straight out of university into ‘the dream’.

For most of us, the dream was always just a fantasy.

Unemployed?

Broke?

Desperate?

Despairing?

While I can’t fix the recession or create jobs, I can offer you this advice…

1) Get selfish. Remember, you don’t need to find jobs for everybody in your year. Focus – your task is to find one job, just for yourself. One little corner of the job market with your name on it.

2) Believe your task is possible. You can’t succeed at something you don’t think is possible. It might not be easy peasy to find a job but it is possible.

3) Remind yourself that the job market is moving – not static. When you’re job-hunting, it can feel like there is no movement at all. Everyone has their jobs and they’re not budging. But it’s not so. Remember, life doesn’t stop in a recession. People continue to be promoted, get pregnant, move abroad… When they move, that creates gaps. If the person below them gets promoted into their role, that leaves a gap for you…

4) Keep reviewing your job-hunt tactics. Different strategies work for different industries. If something isn’t working for you, don’t keep doing it. For example, if you’re trying to get a job in media, don’t keep applying to jobs in the Guardian Media section, if you aren’t seeing any results. Instead, try going to media events and working the room (go on, you can do it!). Ask your parents, cousins and friends if they know anybody who could use your help. Then reassess – what’s working and what isn’t? Do more of what’s working and ditch whatever isn’t – it’s wasting your time.

5) Consider contract work. I know you want a permanent job (and never to have to job-hunt ever again!) But remember that many companies (particularly small companies) are reluctant to commit to taking on permanent, full-time staff right now – so asking for a permanent job is a giant turn-off for them. When you contact them, mention that you’d be open to temporary or contract work (eg. a three month stint – on a project, or while someone is away). This is usually far more appealing. If they give you a short contract, you’re in a good position if they decide to make the role permanent. If it doesn’t turn into a permanent thing, you’ve got three months’ good experience you didn’t have before.

6) Start sleuthing. If you’re getting nowhere applying to advertised vacancies, try putting put your applications on ‘pause’ and instead spend that time researching ‘hidden’ jobs. It’s a myth that all jobs are advertised – some people reckon the real figure is closer to 20% (20%!!). So sit down and ask yourself “How can I find out about the jobs that aren’t advertised?” You’re a smart person – do some detective work. What companies are doing well right now? Who has just won a big new client? Who is opening new branches? Contact them directly, tailoring your letter to them, including what’s led you to think they might be looking for extra help. Remember that for small companies, advertising vacancies is expensive. Interviewing is expensive too – as it uses up the time of paid employees. There are all sorts of reasons why companies would prefer fantastic candidates to contact them directly. You’re not begging – you’re offering to make their lives better. I’ve heard of lots of people who run smaller companies who say they’re really struggling to find good quality young graduates. Which makes me wonder… Are you all applying to same jobs, at the same big companies? If so, why?! Broaden your search and you’ll find the competition really thins out.

7) Think like a recruiter. Recruiters aren’t the devil – they’re just being squeezed by their boss, who is being squeezed by their boss. They may have less money than they did a couple of years ago, but there’s still lots of work to be done. How can you make their lives better? Remember, they aren’t going to give you a job because you need experience. They’ll give you a job if you can prove to them that you can help them. What value do you bring?

If you’re not working, for God’s sake do something with your time – even if it’s just part-time voluntary work. Recruiters says a gap on your CV is the biggest no-no of all. Remember, recruiters are human – they know things are tough out there for graduates like you right now, so they’ll forgive you if you haven’t been doing a hot-shot job all this time, or earning a fabulous salary. But sitting on your bum just looks bad. In contrast, doing something constructive is always a good look – it shows you can motivate yourself and that you haven’t just been festering on your  mum and dad’s sofa since you graduated. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’ll take time away from your job hunt. It’ll make you far more motivated and efficient with the time you do spend job-hunting, plus you’ll be picking up skills and experience as you go – which all sounds good in interviews.

9) Don’t be scared of the competition. Recruiters say they’re being inundated with applications – but that very few are of a very high standard. Grads often ask how they can make their application ’stand out’? To which I always say, “Er, make it good?”

10) Keep going! Remember there will be good days and bad days. Be aware that your motivation will go up and down. My book has loads more info on this – but try different ways of working (eg at the library, rather than just from home). Get into a routine (going for coffee and a newspaper before you sit down to job-hunt). Meet other job-hunters and share tactics. Do some exercise to clear your head. With every application you do, you learn something new. Even if it’s just learning not to do it that way again!

* Is this advice helpful to you? If so, forward the link to your friends – and please comment below. If enough people like this kind of thing, I’ll keep providing more…

Grim news reaches Dude – the number of unemployed graduates is expected to break the 100,000 barrier this week.

Which means that if you all filed into Wembley Stadium, you would more than fill the place.

In fact, 10,000 of you would still be waiting outside.

Figures show that 8% of those aged under 25 with a degree are now without a job.

Receiving emails from you lot every day, I know how tough it is out there.

Unfortunately, I’m not an economist, a politician or a recruiter.

I can’t fix the recession or create jobs.

But if the economists, politicians and recruiters can commit to boosting the number of opportunities for you lot, I can offer you the advice and support you need to maximise your chances of bagging yourself a job.

In fact, even while we wait for the suits to get their act together (hey Mandy – any time soon would be good, yeah?), I’ve put together some tailor-made advice that will help refresh, reboot and take control of your job-search if you’re currently stuck in rut.

Watch this space – more in a minute… x

Argh, Dude is FRUSTRATED!

I’m considering picketing the House of Commons, fashioning a giant yellow sign that reads “FOR GOD’S SAKE! GIVE STUDENTS AND GRADUATES BETTER CAREER ADVICE!”

Although there are signs that business secretary Peter Mandelson is finally grasping the nettle and realising students deserve a whole lot more respect now that tuition fees have made them ‘paying customers’ – Dude? has spotted a gaping hole in his new ‘Higher Education Framework,’ announced on Tuesday.

Amazingly, the government still hasn’t twigged that offering quality careers advice is as vital piece of the puzzle. WHEN are they planning to give you lot the kind of practical help you’re crying out for? The kind of careers advice that’s actually useful in 2009?

If you haven’t read about it already, among other ideas, Mandy has suggested a sort of ‘labelling system’ for university courses to force – my mistake, encourage - universities to be more transparent (ie less sneaky) when ’selling’ their courses to young people.

How much hands-on tutoring will their fees buy them, for example?

How likely is this course to get them a job at the end – and how well-paid is that job likely to be?

If it works, I’m a happy camper. After all, nobody wants to be sold a lemon.

And when they’re talking about spending thousands of pounds, students absolutely deserve to know what they’re paying for.

Regardless of whether this system ever actually happens, the fact that it was even proposed represents two monster climb-downs from Mandy and his department.

1) They are effectively acknowledging that universities have a moral obligation not to sell ‘Mickey Mouse’ degrees as if they’re a one-way ticket to a stellar career and untold riches.

2) They seem to have cottoned on that charging students fees has given students a legitimate voice as consumers – with the rights that go with that.

Predictably, the universities are having a giant diva strop.

Some are claiming they’re effectively being asked to ‘dumb down’ standards in order to ‘keep customers happy’. Others claim Mandy’s labelling plans are ‘reductive’, neglecting the true value of university and turning a degree into a commodity, to be ‘bought’ (by students) and ’sold’ (to employers).

I say “Get over it, loves”. If you charge money for a service, you become a supplier – and your customer becomes a client. End of.

As for all this talk from professors about what a university education ’should’ be about (broadening one’s mind, enjoying the love of learning for learning’s sake, etc), what planet are they living on?

Clearly one that isn’t going through a recession or a digital revolution (both of which are currently shaking many industries to their core, narrowing graduates chances of getting a foot in the door).

Would these professors spend 15-20k on something that er, yes, absolutely definitely has a value, it’s just that no-one can say exactly what that value is, but it’s really very very important and definitely a good idea, even if it’s just because it’s all good background for a career, even if you don’t know which one you want yet, but again, no-one can say exactly how this ‘good background’ translates into improved chances of getting a job, or improved chances that that job might be paid more than the minimum wage, but even though they have no idea why, they’re 100% sure that a degree is a terribly terribly good idea in the long run…

No, I thought not.

If anyone has turned higher education into a ‘commodity’, it’s the universities themselves. They did that the minute they started charging fees.

Expecting young people to hand over thousands of pounds with no clear information about what they’re paying for is outrageously arrogant.

While I’m on a roll (breathe, Tanya!), a couple of other things are keeping Dude? awake at night, on the subject of Mandy’s plans…

1) The phrase ‘labelling system’ (some kind of proposed ratings thingamy for each course) fills my heart with dread. Knowing the powers-that-be, I can’t help fearing the result will either be a) hugely complicated, b) insanely simplistic, c) vulnerable to number-fiddling by universities or d) make universities focus on targets, points and gold stars when they should be concentrating on teaching the students.

2) My other BIG concern is that I noted that Uncle Pete’s shiny new ‘framework’ made absolutely no mention of the shamefully sorry state of graduate careers advice which – I’ll keep saying it ’til I’m blue in the face! – is a vital (and still missing) piece of the puzzle.

The fact is this: Whether the course that students sign up for is classed as “Category A”, “Type 1″, “Blue”, “Pink” or “Square”, graduates leaving university need better career advice than they are currently getting.

There was one particular quote I enjoyed, though – the bit where Mandy said, “Universities are not islands, they are not ivory towers, they have to respond to the world around them.”

Bravo, my man!

Hmm, now if only someone would suggest the government applies this thinking to some kind of policy on standards for university career advice – to give the whole sorry system the kick up the backside it needs.

You’d think that in “responding to the world around them” perhaps careers advisers might start oh, I don’t know, acknowledging that ‘jobs for life’ are over, so it makes sense to move away from this ‘Pick a career aged 21′ nonsense?

Or admitting that finding your first graduate job in the middle of a recession really, really tough going – and takes more than an internships database to fix? (Yes, I’m talking to you, Graduate Talent Pool)?

Or that right now, all around us, this teensy little thing called the digital revolution is shaking most industries to the core – and means there are no longer any cosy career guarantees for any of us, whether we’re in our twenties or our sixties?

In fact, I love that quote so much I’m going to say it again:

“Universities are not islands,

they are not ivory towers,

they have to respond to the world around them.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Now, please answer me this, Lord Mandelson:

WHEN are you going to deliver the engaging, inspiring and useful careers advice that today’s students and graduates deserve?

If you need a hand, you know where I am. Call me?

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but Dude fans have friends in high places, battling for you right now. And some of them, I suspect, have been reading their very own copy of Dude.

In what I’d feared could be a giant yawn of a lecture last week at London’s RSA, an expert economist warned politicians to make you lot a priority – or face the consequences.

People, the next hour was riveting.

Professor David (‘Danny’) Blanchflower, ex-member of the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee and all-round ninja economist, blasted the current government’s initiatives to help you as “not nearly enough” and warned that without proper support, graduate joblessness could rise even further.

Given that it’s already predicted that 40,000 of you will still be unemployed by Christmas – that’s enough to fill a football stadium – I reckon that’s pretty shocking.

Danny also said he’d dusted off the history books and discovered that a long period of unemployment early in a graduate’s career can impact their earning potential into the future. In his words, a spell out of work can leave not “temporary blemishes”, but “permanent scars” on a person’s career.

Happily, listening to Danny’s speech were a few people who can do something about it (if they want to), including Stephen Timms MP (financial secretary to the Treasury) and David Willetts MP (Shadow Secretary of State for Universities and Skills).

And Dude was thrilled to see (from the panel discussion following Danny’s killer speech) that not only were they getting the message that this was a serious business, but that they they seemed to have twigged (at last!) that providing engaging, useful careers advice is a crucial piece of the puzzle in helping get young people out of the current swamp we – as a nation – have landed you in, and back into work.

I’m telling you, it was as if they’d all been reading Dude in the taxi on their way there. I was chuffed to bits.

Career advice “must be better”, said another panel member, Miles Templeman, director-general at the Institute of Directors. He declared it currently “Way behind where it should be.”

David Willetts and Wes Streeting, President of the NUS, nodded in agreement.

Stephen Timms then pointed out that a young person’s first job “May not be something they stay in forever.”

Gentlemen! What have I been saying for YEARS?!

By the end of the talk I was so encouraged by what I’d heard that I bounded up to the panel to introduce myself. (What can I say, I’d had a lot of coffee… The lecture started at 10.30am and I’m not a mornings girl).

I gave out books and business cards (I know, don’t – cringe!) and a proposal of a fabulous new plan I’m working on, to help graduates further.

Let’s hope at least some of them realise that Dude’s Army has something very important to tell them…

Dude is puzzled by news that the Government is planning to encourage kids to start planning their career at primary school.

“If I don’t know what I’m going to end up doing ‘When I grow up’, how on earth is a 10-year-old meant to know?” you cry.

Indeed.

However, Dude feels kneejerk criticism of this plan is a little harsh since Ed Balls’ idea clearly comes from a good place.

It is indeed worrying – scrap that, it’s tragic – that little  kids with big dreams seem to lose their ambition as they go through the school system.

It seems the poor little sausages get it drummed out of them, somewhere along the line.

However, Dude is concerned (as ever!) that (yet again!) the most important and useful message is being missed here.

When will the careers establishment wake up and smell the uber-strength double espresso?

A career is no longer something we can ‘plan’ in the way people once did. Now, it’s something we just have to ‘navigate’ as we go along.

As you lot have discovered on graduating into this swamp of uncertainty, the world of work  is simply changing too fast for there to be any guarantees for any of us anymore. Clinging to the old, outdated model of career advice is pointless.

Instead, we will simply have to learn to pick up skills, make smart moves and create opportunities as we go along. Above all, we need to learn to stay flexible.

Case in point. When I chose to be a journalist aged 22, I knew it would be hard to get in – which it was. But what I didn’t expect was for eight years later (I’m 30 now), the entire industry would be thrown into crisis due to a double whammy of the recession (big brands’ advertising budgets have va-moosed overnight) and the digital revolution (free online access to information and entertainment means consumers no longer feel they should have to pay for content. Kind of a bummer when you’re one of the people who generates that content!).

However, the disintegration of the industry I thought I’d be in for life has coincided with a crisis in the graduate careers world, something that I happened to write a book about a couple of years ago and feel even more passionately about now (largely because everyone else seems to be doing such a horrendous job of serving you lot).

So these days I’m splitting my time between developing projects in this space and writing for the handful of my old journalism clients who still have a budget to pay me. And actually, it’s kind of fun!

The same has happened in the music industry. And the book publishing industry. And now public sector spending is about to be cut… We’re all going to have to learn to think on our feet and keep finding a little space for ourselves to add value to an employer who thinks our talents are worth paying for.

To be honest, that’s the best career advice you can give a 10-year-old.

The news that there is no longer any such thing as a ’safe’ career could be seen as scary for people trying to help young people crack the world of work.

Dude disagrees.

Why? Because for young people, the idea of a ‘job for life’ was always a giant yawn. Actually, it sounded borderline horrific. The start of their career felt like the end of the party.

The pressure to choose a career aged 22 has for many years been ridiculous, especially as most grads leave uni without a clue where their true talents lie because – guess what – they haven’t really done anything yet. (They’ve been busy studying, remember?).

And it’s still ridiculous now. Ask a graduate what they want to do with the rest of their life and they’ll say ‘Errr… Oh God… I haven’t decided yet… Urgh….’

Ask them what they might like to do for the next couple of years – and you’ll get a totally different response. ‘I’d like to see what PR is like,’ they might say. Or, ‘My cousin works for a property company and I’ve always liked the sound of that.’

Shortening the timescale makes it a far more reasonable, manageable question for young people to tackle. They’re bright, they’re adaptable, they’ll figure the rest out as they go along.

Young people aren’t afraid that jobs for life are over – they weren’t that fussed about them in the first place. To them, being asked to choose a job for life is far scarier than being told they’ll just have to work it out as they go.

When you look at it like this, Dude reckons that there’s no news here that a 10-year-old can’t handle.

: )

Read more about this story here

Trying to decide on just one career?

Yawnsville!

…says ground-breaking new book ‘And what do you do? 10 steps to creating a portfolio career‘.

Authors Barrie Hopson and Katie Ledger reckon more and more people – including new graduates – are starting to twig that it’s totally possible to keep your options open by juggling more than one job at the same time – if that’s what tickles your fancy.

You can do two days of this, three days of that – and spend Saturdays afternoons working on your own masterplan.

“Portfolio careers can be ideal for people staring out on a career and unsure about a long-term direction,” says Ledger

(who herself is a former Channel 5 newsreader, and now a communications consultant, conference host, media coach, author, blogger, presenter, wife and mum – phew!)

“It can be a way of ‘trying on’ a number of different types of work. Careers experts increasingly are encouraging people to experiment, test out possibilities and try it for size before making their minds up.”

Aren’t most new grads too young to pull it off? Pish, says Ledger – ’single track career’ types will always try and put you off a portfolio career, whatever your age.

“These people tend to say that anything other than single track working is ‘too difficult’ and certainly not viable for anyone in their 20s. Then when they et to their 30s and 40s the are conversely fed messages about being ‘too old’ and having ‘too many responsibilities’!”

But if a portfolio career appeals, the book shows you how to prove the nay-sayers wrong, whatever your age.

In fact, you lot – labelled ‘Generation Y’ – are ideally placed to become the first group of young people to adopt non-traditional working models like this, says Ledger. Quite simply, you want it the way you want it.

“Generation Y workers – those born between 1981 and 1995 – are already demanding flexibility, development and learning opportunities and increasingly they’re bringing a social conscience to work. A portfoilio career can allow them to tick all the boxes.”

If you aren’t sold on the idea of doing the same job for the rest of your life (Zzzzz….), find out more about the book on Amazon

- Ooh, and if you visit Ledger’s blog you can download the first chapter for free!

Happy days!

A moustachioed university chief has suggested a new way to fund higher education – by scrapping tuition fees.

If adopted, the egghead’s ‘Learn now, pay later’ brainwave could be a lifeline to school leavers keen to continue studying but worried about mounting debt.

Instead of charging students upfront for their education, UCL’s Professor Malcolm Grant suggests introducing a ‘graduate tax’. This will be a percentage of university leavers’ earnings, payable only once they’re making a decent wage.

In other words, graduates only have to pay out if their degree pays off.

Has Grant proved that men with moustaches CAN have contribute good to our society? Read the full story on the Guardian – and see more pics of the professor’s magnificent facial fuzz – here

Finding yourself jobless after three years at university – and thousands of pounds of investment – can make a person kind of cross.

One unemployed graduate knows exactly who to take her anger out on. She has decided to sue her university.

Trina Thomspon – from New York – claims that Monroe University were negligent and failed to give her decent career advice to prepare her for the world of work.

Dude isn’t clear on the details of this case but I have to admire Trina’s chutzpah.

It will be easy for universities to dismiss this case is just a bit of a giggle. But they’d be wrong to do so.

This case is a clear indicator of a major power shift between young people and academic intitutions – and universities need to wise up. It’s about time they realise that the minute they started charging you lot tuition fees, you went from being hapless students to paying CUSTOMERS.

As such, you deserve to be treated with respect. When you are ’sold’ your degree, you should be made fully aware of what it will – and won’t – guarantee. They should also be clear about the amount – and quality - of career advice and ‘aftercare’ you will receive from them once you graduate.

Management Today reported this story with a really snidey tone, which really got my back up. So I had a pop at them.

If you agree with my comments, feel free to back me up
here.

Anyone else feel like suing their university? Email me here